


Put Me Down!

by Resacon1990



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Beorn is Cheeky, Beorn's House, Bilbo is So Done, Fluff, M/M, Protective Thorin, Thorin Is an Idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2499383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resacon1990/pseuds/Resacon1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo groans as Thorin continues to yell insults up at Beorn.</p><p>"You giant oaf!" he calls, "put him down! He clearly doesn't want to be hanging from your meaty claw!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put Me Down!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [achildofyavanna (Minionfromthedark)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minionfromthedark/gifts).



> "what i actually want from a scene at beorn’s is for the skinchanger to lift bilbo up to comment on how fat he’s gotten again
> 
> and at bilbo’s cry of distress thorin comes rushing out of whatever corner he’s been hiding in with orcrist drawn and a battle cry on his lips."
> 
> Original Post on Tumblr: [here](http://eichenschildundbeutlin.tumblr.com/post/100690730191)
> 
> For achildofyavanna, otherwise known as [eichenschildundbeutlin](http://eichenschildundbeutlin.tumblr.com/), who gave me this most fantastic prompt!
> 
> All mistakes are my own!

Bilbo actually likes Beorn. Sure, Bilbo's probably only a little bigger than Beorn's head, and Beorn's hand can fit all the way around Bilbo's midriff and then some. But even though the giant intimidates him more than Lobelia Sackville-Baggins after someone has stepped on her flower patch, he still finds him beyond interesting.

The giant has stories about his people that he delights in telling to an intrigued audience. Bilbo's found himself propped up on Beorn's shoulder many times, listening to Beorn's tales as the giant works around his homestead. Bilbo had even managed to share many of his own, and he stills adores the conversation they'd had over gardening _of all things_ the other day, despite the dwarves clucking their tongues in disappointment from the side.

He knows the dwarves don't trust Beorn. He'd heard Dwalin _growl_ at Beorn when he'd had reached forward to nudge Bilbo out of the way of his stampeding sheep. Even Beorn was being grouchy and rude about dwarven culture whenever the opportunity came up. Honestly, Bilbo thinks they're all being big babies about it all. Can't they just be civil?

Bilbo doesn't hold out much hope though. Frankly they're all children, and he knows that children will always remain _petty_.

Still, he does delight in Beorn's company, despite Thorin's twitching eye every time Bilbo is near the giant.

Babies. The lot.

"So, how do you find all your plants?" he asks Beorn as he wanders along at his ankle. He feels rather like a pet actually, but being picked up by Beorn always makes his stomach drop uncomfortably.

Beorn hums as he continues to hand out apples and hay to animals he passes by. Bilbo quite likes them, although waking up to bees on his face does unnerve him.

"The elves often come with them," Beorn explains, and Bilbo nods along to his words, "King Thranduil says they are merely gifts, but Lady Tauriel agrees that they are bribes to ensure I will remain on his side if there is ever a war."

"So he gives them to you to keep you.. loyal?" Bilbo frowns in disbelief, but Beorn nods his head.

"Yes," he agrees, "although the Elven King is not as smart as he believes he is. I owe no creature loyalty," he smiles down at Bilbo, "to the ones I like, maybe."

Bilbo feels a bit embarrassed at Beorn's statement, and he blushes as he glances at the ground. "Beorn," he starts, and it must be his tone that causes Beorn to tip his head back and start laughing.

"Oh, Little Bunny," Beorn chuckles, and Bilbo's ear-tips turn red at the nickname, "I am not wishing to court you. Nor am I attempting to win you with endearments. I am simply expressing my interest in calling you my friend." Bilbo glances up in shock when Beorn presses down on top of Bilbo' head with two of his fingers. "Besides," he says, "I believe the one they call King has already laid claim on you as his own."

The one they call… Bilbo's mouth drops open as he stares at Beorn in horror. " _Thorin_?" he exclaims, and Beorn frowns at him as he hands one of his horses an apple.

"I believe that is his name."

"You're delusional," Bilbo scoffs, and he shakes his head as he has a little chuckle, "bonkers. The lot of you. Not only babies but _crazy_ ones at that."

Beorn doesn't look the slightest bit offended as he just shrugs and continues to move about his animals quietly. Bilbo is tempted to head back to his bed roll and lie down to mutter to himself about the ridiculousness of not only dwarves, but _shape-shifters_ as well. Although after a moment or two, he decides against it and grumbles his way back to Beorn's side.

"How.. how do you-"

"You would be best to ask the King yourself," Beorn cuts his off, and Bilbo huffs as he crosses his arms. "I am not a mind-reader. Only he will be able to tell you."

Bilbo mutters under his breath for a little while longer. He trails behind Beorn still, keeping up with his long strides, and he doesn't say anything until something hard falls on his head and an apple drops to the ground. 

He glares up at Beorn who gives him an apologetic smile, before he bends down to pick it up. It's a nice looking apple, ruby red with a juicy shine, and he decides then and there it's _his_ to eat.

Of course, it _was_ his to eat, until Beorn reaches down and plucks it from his hand.

"I don't think you need that, Little Bunny," he lightly chassises as he slips the apple back into his pocket, "you're much too pudgy for that."

Shocked is an understatement. Bilbo stands completely _scandalized_ as he stares at Beorn. "Are you calling me _fat_?" he demands, hands rising to his hips as he taps his foot.

Beorn chuckles as he crouches down in front of Bilbo to poke lightly at his tummy. "Only a bit pudgy," he says as Bilbo tries to squirm out of his prodding finger, "well covered around your belly."

"I'll have you know!" Bilbo squeaks as he slaps at Beorn's finger, "I am the _perfect_ size for a gentlehobbit! If not maybe a little smaller thanks to the lack of food and excessive exercise- _what are you doing_!"

He lets out an incredibly indecent squawk as Beorn's hand closes around his midriff and he's picked up. Instantly his stomach drops to the bottom of his tummy, rolling unpleasantly as he continues to demand for Beorn to _put him down this instant_.

Beorn's laughter and Bilbo's cries go silent not a moment later though when a sudden roar is heard throughout the homestead. It's something Bilbo has heard before, although never quite _this_ angry, and when he glances down he sees none other than _Thorin_ charging towards them from the doors of Beorn's home with Orcist held high and… oh _bugger_.

"Thorin! No!" Bilbo cries just as Thorin reaches them and swings Orcist so hard that Bilbo is positive it would've gone right through Beorn's knee if he hadn't have stepped back in time.

"Unhand him!" Thorin snarls up at Beorn, and Bilbo has to admit he is actually quite intimidating by the angry dwarf despite him only coming up to Beorn's knees. 

Beorn though looks unimpressed, and he clearly decides that _goading_ Thorin is a good idea. "Why should I?" he asks as he jostles Bilbo around, "I see no harm in carrying the little one."

"Goodness…" Bilbo mumbles as Thorin lets out another growl.

"Unhand him now, or I will cut you down!"

"I'm not a tree," Beorn snarls, "although you must be as _thick_ as one."

"How dare-"

"Gentlemen!" Bilbo interrupts with a shout, causing the two to glance at him only briefly before they're back to bickering. Bilbo watches from where he's hanging heavens know how high above the ground, completely unimpressed as the two scream insults at each other and Thorin tries to _stab_ Beorn continuously.

He's beyond frustrated when he starts kicking at Beorn's arm. Hopefully the giant will actually _feel_ it and let him down, but nothing happens except for Beorn tightening his grip and growling, "keep still" at him.

That doesn't sit well with Thorin though, and Bilbo groans as Thorin continues to yell insults up at Beorn.

"You giant oaf!" he calls, "put him down! He clearly doesn't want to be hanging from your meaty claw!"

"And why would you care, oh King Under the Mountain?" Beorn growls, and he shakes Bilbo enough to make him want to vomit. "You've never seemed to care for the Hobbit much before."

Thorin goes red, and Bilbo can't tell if it's embarrassment or anger, but either way it doesn't actually _shut him up_.

"I care for him enough that I do not see it fit for you to _torture_ him," Thorin argues, and Beorn scoffs loudly.

"You cannot even admit how _much_ you must care for this little one?" he asks, "obviously more than just 'enough'. You are willing to challenge a giant for him. You linger in shadows watching him to ensure he is not hurt. You _care_ a great deal about this Hobbit, Thorin Oakenshield."

Bilbo is frankly speechless as he stares at a gaping Thorin. Really? He… well, yes, what Beorn said makes _sense_ , but it doesn't mean…

"What of it?" Thorin snarls, "do you wish me to admit it? And then you release the Hobbit?"

Beorn snorts as he crouches down and deposits Bilbo rather ungracefully on the ground, causing Bilbo to stumble around until he topples onto Thorin with an " _oof_!"

"It is not to me you must admit it to," Beorn points out, and he reaches down to prod the two of them somehow closer, "but to him."

Bilbo staggers upright, pulling Thorin with him, and he glares up at Beorn. He can't actually say anything though as Beorn just gives him an encouraging smile before turning and wandering back towards his animals.

It leaves a bit of an awkward silence between himself and Thorin, and Bilbo reluctantly lets go of the furs he's holding onto to put some space between himself and Thorin.

"I, well, that was, um," he struggles with his words and sheepishly scratches the back of his neck as he watches Thorin rearrange himself and give Bilbo a irritated look, "strange. That was strange."

"Indeed. If you hadn't-"

"Oh no no no!" Bilbo interrupts, "you are _not_ blaming this on me! If you hadn't come charging out swinging that stick like some haughty _hero_ , then this wouldn't have happened!"

"You were in-"

"Thorin Oakenshield," Bilbo growls as he cuts in again, "do you not think I can look after myself? Because I can! I took on a pack of orcs for you-"

"An orc. One."

"-and so help me, if you think you can get away with being a rude _dwarf_ then you are wrong! You need to grow up and realise that not everyone is a damsel in distress!" Bilbo finishes his rant, ignoring Thorin's interjection, and he just continues to glare at Thorin until the disgruntled dwarf glances down at his feet and mutters something that could possibly be an apology.

Bilbo doesn't push though, and instead just nods his head. The silence between them is a bit awkward, and Bilbo pops his lips once before he grins and steps forward to nudge Thorin.

"So, you care about me?" he asks smugly, "enough to fight a _giant_ , huh?"

"Oh bugger off," Thorin snaps, but Bilbo sees the blush on his cheeks and the small smile on his lips and he can't help but grin in response.

"It's not a _bad_ thing, Thorin," Bilbo replies as he steps ever closer, "in fact, it's nice to know the feeling is mutual."

The stunned look on Thorin's face at his words makes Bilbo laugh, and he winks at Thorin before he turns to swagger off back into Beorn's homestead. He makes sure to put a bit more swing in his step, and he sees Beorn laughing to side as Thorin's spluttered " _Bilbo_!" fills the air.

**Author's Note:**

> I should really focus more on my ReverseBigBang fic instead of these, shouldn't I? But oh well! It's fun!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


End file.
